They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
