when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
