Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
