just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
