Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize