i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Define "chronic" masturbator.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize