Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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