She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
