my being single is dangerous.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
