He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
