I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
