"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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