Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
