spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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