Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize