I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
