woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize