they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
