whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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