Welp...herpes.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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