no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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