he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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