well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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