I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
