dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
