I feel great
I just peed on a car
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
