I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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