I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
