he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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