The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
