so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
