i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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