There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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