Sry I called you an 8
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
