yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize