hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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