did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
