You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
