the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
