There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize