Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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