If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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