WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
