The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize