How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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