swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
