I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
