wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Panties = found
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