Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
