on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
this hospital has no fireball
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I pour the whiskey from now on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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