tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
