Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
