theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
