in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
