I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
