Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
