Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
