Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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