i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
