the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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