Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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